The Art of Surrendering to the Journey Continue to article
Like many of the most profound teachings of our times, they are vague and lack concrete steps. I mean what on earth does it mean to surrender? Do I wave a white flag? Do some fancy hand gestures? Hold the peace sign?
Even more pertinent, why should I surrender, doesn’t that mean I am giving up, giving into another's will, one that may be less than perfect for my ideal scenario?
This is where there is a certain level of acceptance, trust, and allowance. To see the world in a way that there is a balance of situations, as well as experiences that are happening for us, instead of to us.
So we know that the way we build our narrative links into the idea of how we feel, and therefore relates to our experience. For example, if I feel like a journey will be difficult, chances are quite high that will be a large part of my experience. Even if the journey pleasantly proves m
e wrong, it plays a large theme in the lead-up to what happens.
So surrendering is a magical balm that we can allow to be applied. Allowance is a magic key. To recognize the potential is always there. Letting go of the resistance, intense as it can be, allows us (There it is again), to be applied to ourselves. All the world is a mirror, so letting its balm be perfect for us, ultimately allows us to receive what we need.
And a woman spoke, saying, Tell us of Pain.
And he said:
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burns your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.
From The Prophet - Kahlil Gibran
If all of this is self-chosen, then it is the allowance, the stopping of endless flagellation against the choices and experiences of life. This is what allows us to ultimately receive what we have been trying to give ourselves. It is in remembrance that it is always as it should be, that we are allowed to truly live and love.
Leaning In: Embracing the Void
Think of surrendered like a trust fall, you can lean in little by little, but at some point, you need to completely let go of the support that is keeping you up. To embrace the void so to speak. This is the point at which there is actually an acknowledgment of the next phase and the way that you are actually moving toward it. This is the point of surrender.
Now before this point, there is a fair amount of learning that happens, sometimes at a decent rate and sometimes painstakingly slowly, little by little. This is the point of everything. To feel it until it becomes nothing.
This is a nice way to speak about leaning into the void. To see that nothing, in its infinite humor, is still something. By letting go of the resistance around everything we are able to begin to feel the benignness inherent in all things.
Once we are able to recognize that the painful emotions are not trying to hurt us, we may begin to learn to take different actions.
Please note that it is still important to feel your emotions, to listen to them, and to learn to speak the true language of what they are saying to you. This is to know thyself and has been spoken about time and time again.
This process grows as we learn to let go more of what is in fact a hindrance to our true selves. As we begin to open space for everything else to enter we are allowed to truly become and learn that we are more than we were. This, like life, is a journey into the unknown, which can be scary, but also exciting, uncertainty strengthens us and love centers us, ultimately allowing us to find our way home.
I find that in this process, the first step is the most difficult and as each step is progressively taken, it allows for greater and greater levels of growth to occur. So we ultimately learn how to become comfortable in an uncomfortable situation, while still progressing forward.
I find this is where leaning in becomes a largely surrendered and all-encompassing experience as one moves more and more into the practicality of existence. I begin to see how many of the parts of myself I have kept locked up, have been the parts that in releasing afford me the most freedom.
This can be difficult, this can hurt, and this can be a challenge.
It is so worth it.
Be courageous in your expression and lead yourself into the full and ultimate experience of your life and how you all ultimately choose to unfold and become.
Know that if there were anything else to do, you would already be entering into that path, were you to have the space to allow that to occur.
Benefits of Leaning In
If we live our lives the way we have always lived them, then we are bound to get the same results we have always attained. So the best way to enjoy and create your life anew is to do new things. All these opportunities rest in the unknown spaces of life, all the parts where one is uncertain, not knowing the full way forward. I challenge you to see how deeply you can go, however sporadically, chaotically, or experimentally.
Go and enjoy the journey, reminding yourself with each step that the path laid before you has been laid perfectly for you.
In my journey, I thought that letting go of the identity I had formed would be akin to completely letting go of any real truth about myself and my experience. That I would lose the spark of my own self.
I found that the attachment I had to the way that moved in my experience was the only thing to go, and that freed me to see more of the spark travel.
I know I thought that leaning in would be self-destructive, dangerous, or in some way just against my highest potential. What I found is that I want to grow, find a deeper level of resilience, and harness my inherent adaptability.
For me that came in processing death and that some of the people I love most in life, will die, that I may have to accept that I never got to know them as well as I would like to have. I am instead to learn to recognize this, now and always, and choose to create my life with their lessons and learnings in mind.
Most recently this was processing the aging of my parents, that they are getting on there in years, that I still only know them for the experience of having grown with them. Now learn how to put that frame down and get to see them wholly. Giving them the grace to teach me as a stranger.
Initially, this came with a lot of pain, heartwrenching, and immobilizing, sometimes it still does.
However, I now find that it often leads to a complete experience of surrender, like clicking into gear of a deep experience that puts all of life into perspective.
If this is a fact. Then I am choosing to live my life at the highest level that I am capable of living. I may share that with them as early as I may and in as full a manner as possible.
Practical Tips for Letting Go and Leaning In
Ask yourself these questions:
What scares me the most?
How do I habitually resist it?
What can I do about it now?
What can I do about it tomorrow?
How would it feel if it were completely dissolved?
What action would I be free to take without that hindrance?
How does this make my life easier?
What flows more easily?
What feeling is associated with this resolution?
Overcoming the resistance
To move through the resistance, you need to prove to yourself that it is safe to do so. For this to happen the easiest way is to take it step by step. Importantly small step by small step. This lets you prove to yourself that you are safe in your ability to take action and let each step unfold naturally and wholly.
As your track record improves, you can effortlessly make steps forward and express yourself in a manner that lets you begin to enjoy the process of uncovering yourself, your process, and your essence.
If you want to live a life that is yours, you need to surrender to the divine will of nature.
All the psychedelics in the land can only help you as much as you are willing to let their lessons live through you.
Remember it is a marathon, not a sprint, so pace yourself, let it happen through you, at a natural and effortless rate(You do need to make sure you set yourself up to engage though).
Your life has the seeds to grow into something far greater than your dreams, dreams and all it takes is for you to show up.
Begin today, continue tomorrow, and fall in love with it each day for all of eternity.